Welcome to supportyourvet.org

I found a support group that let me come to their meetings. It is basically for wife's and family members of veterans, but after talking to the facilitator I was invited in. I have gone to three meetings and have cried at everyone of them. As I sat there and listened to these brave women, I felt honored to be in their presence. As I sat there, I was listening to them talk and describe my friends behavior, as they talked about their husbands and their trials. I felt like an outsider because I am not married to my friend, but I do have a relationship called friendship. They told me that friends hurt too. But the last meeting I attended was the hardest. They all told me that my friend was never going to be the same as the way he was before he went to Afghanistan. As I looked into each of those women's eyes, I could see the truth coming from their hearts. I cried. I cried, not for myself but for my friend. I am crying now as I write this. It has been hard, very hard to see someone you care about sink deeper into the unknown. Wanting to go and hold this person and let them know that they are not alone and that yes, I will never know what you have gone thru but I am here for you. To hold this person and want to fix everything that is hurting and confusing, distant and far, to be able to get thru to someone you love because you still know that no matter what they are still a bright beautiful soul. But my friend does not see this. And I know he will push me away even farther if I was to try. So I continue to not crowd his space. He does not see the beauty that he holds. I finally talked to him after a month. He has not called or sent me messages. So I sent him one in hopes that he would respond, and he did but was very distant. Before our conversation finished I let him know that I still believe in him. Everyone needs someone to believe in them. And I still do and will always believe in him. The response I got was "sure". He is still drinking and the company he is keeping in my eyes is not a positive one. So I still continue to pray and I still continue to believe that it will get better for him and that he will overcome his demons. I tell myself that his drinking is a band aid and that once that band aid is removed those unseen wounds will heal. I am still at a loss but my heart and soul tell me not to give up. And I am not going to. I have been reading the post and they all have the same theme. I guess I had to post because even thou I have gone to these support meetings, I feel alone. I will not walk away but at the same time I can not continue to see my friend become more lost. So I keep my distance at an arms length, knowing and believing that when the time comes when he reaches my hand will be there. I do not crowd and I do not nag. I believe that it will get better for him. I believe that at some point he will open his eyes and see the truth with his heart and soul. I do believe.